haphazard (noun): mere chance; accident

(adjective): characterized by lack of order or planning, by irregularity, or by randomness; determined by chance, aimless

hazard (noun): an unavoidable danger or risk; something causing unavoidable danger, peril, risk, or difficulty; the absence or lack of predictability;   chance; uncertainty; 

(verb): to put to the risk of being lost; to take or run the risk of (a misfortune, penalty, etc.)

source: dictionary.com

Ha-haw ha ha!  It was a big booming laugh.  It echoed down the hallway and reverberated up the stairs.  It picked up his lanky frame and gave him a good shake, holding him inches above the floor.  It was an explosion that had burst out of him without warning. It was a laugh with mass and volume; oh boy did it have volume!  He couldn’t have swallowed that laugh if he had tried.  But he did try.  Bringing his hand up to his mouth he seemed to catch what was left of that laugh, and he held it to his lips.  Tasteless.  Odorless.  But he could feel it and he knew that his heart was in the substance of that laugh.

Delighted, he clapped his hands, cleared his throat, twirled his mustache, and began assembling his focus once again.  He was putting himself together piece by piece, but he had dropped his paintbrush in his delirious confusion and was now searching for it under the floorboards and behind the papered walls.  He felt with soft fingertips along the tops of the window sills and door frames.  He wasn’t sure if gravity was flowing up or down today.  Some days, down is up and up is so deep down that if you’re underneath, you’re on top.  The paintbrush was behind the closet door this time though he thought it looked larger now that before.

 Happy National Coming Out Day to all of my proud lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender friends! Love love love!

 Stands for: Doesn’t Ever Leave The Airport.

This girl will never fly Delta Air Lines again! 

Take One: Departure.

On my way to New York City last weekend my flight into LaGuardia got canceled. They got me a flight into JFK but only after a three hour delay. Once I boarded the plane they announce one of the seats was broken. We waited 20 minutes for the maintenance man to arrive. We waited as he fixed the seat. We waited as he filled out the paperwork. And then we waited as that paperwork was entered into the computer system and the plan was finally cleared for takeoff. 

Take Two: The Return Trip.

Flight is delayed one hour. One hour later… flight is delayed another hour. Still later, we enter through the gate, board a bus and are charted across the tarmac to finally arrive at our plane. The excuse? Maintenance issues. Really, Delta? You have to wait to do upkeep on your planes until they are needed? You cost me hours of precious time and peace of mind. You made me miss plans with friends. And you cost me twice as much in cab fare because JFK is twice as far away from where I needed to be.